And don't send Jesus. This is no job for a boy

During a competition at Deal [Viscount Castlerosse] buried his ball in a bunker: the crowd that gathered to see how he would extricate it watched as he cried to the skies, 'Oh God, come down and help me with this shot. And don't send Jesus. This is no job for a boy.'

A. Tinniswood, The long weekend (2016), 302

Perhaps as much as 50 per cent of all agricultural land ... [was] devoted to game conservation

By 1911 there were around 25,000 keepers employed on estates in England, Wales and Scotland; and the disadvantages to the tenant farmer of so much countryside - perhaps as much as 50 per cent of all agricultural land - being devoted to game conservation was causing disquiet in official circles.

A. Tinniswood, The long weekend (2016), 292

As a matter of course, young ladies do not eat cheese at dinner parties

'A member of the Aristocracy' recommended that young women should steer clear of the more highly seasoned dishes ('middle-aged and elderly ladies are at liberty to do pretty much as they please'). They should also avoid artichokes, because it was impossible to eat them elegantly; and 'as a matter of course, young ladies do not eat cheese at dinner parties'.

A. Tinniswood, The long weekend (2016), 278-9

Then they prised up a floorboard at the other end and unleashed a ferret

In the 1920s, Lord and Lady Braye were baffled by the prospect of having to run cables through their long ballroom without wrecking its delicate eighteenth century stuccowork. Then someone had a bright idea: they prised up a floorboard at one end and dropped a dead rabbit into the void; then they prised up a floorboard at the other end and unleashed a ferret, with a string tied to his collar. When the ferret had managed to negotiate the joists and reached the rabbit the string was used to pull through the cable and hey presto! the problem was solved.

A. Tinniswood, The long weekend (2016), 152

Light, sun and air were prized in a way that medieval and Tudor forebears would have found incomprehensible. So were bathrooms.

The balancing act which so many owners of older country houses had to perform was to live in a congenial 'muddle of museum carpets [and] ruined castles' - Harold Nicolson's description of life at Sissinghurst - and still have mod cons and home comforts. The older the house way, the harder that was. By the 1920s light, sun and air were prized in a way that medieval and Tudor forebears would have found incomprehensible. So were bathrooms.

A. Tinniswood, The long weekend (2016), 137