'Homemade' begs one question. Whose home? Have you actually seen people's homes? Why should biscuits made at home be better than those baked in a factory, a factory that specialises in biscuits? I'm thinking here of Nairn's Oatcakes, Rakusen's Matzo Crackers and Carr's Water Biscuits. We don't seek treatment from amateur surgeons and Sunday dentists.
J. Meades, The plagiarist in the kitchen (2017), 143
SAUTE POTATOES
Do peel the potatoes - unpeeled potatoes are an abomination
Do not blanch them let alone boil them
Cut them into pieces the size of a malnourished walnut
J. Meades, The plagiarist in the kitchen (2017), 121
It [Lancashire Hotpot] needs very slow cooking in an oven. Into a family-sized, brown, oval-shaped dish with a lid, you place the following ingredients: best end of neck of lamb, trimmed of all fat; potatoes and onions thickly sliced. These go in alternate layers. Season well, cover with good stock, top with oysters, or, if you wish, sliced beef kidneys. There is no need for officious timing: you will know when it is done. Serve with pickled red cabbage and a cheap claret. In his novel The human factor, Mr Graham Greene has the effrontery to add carrots to the dish. He promised to remove these carrots in a re-issue of the book, but they are still wrongly and redly there.
Anthony Burgess, cited in J. Meades, The plagiarist in the kitchen (2017), 83-4
The best known recipe in the Alice B. Toklas Cookbook is for hashish fudge. She got the recipe from Brion Gibson who had got it in Tangier where it would have ben known as mahjoun. It is of Berber origin. The problem with it is the problem of cannabis in any form - it turns the most delightful people into dull obsessives or insensate, giggling bores or borderline psychotics. Protracted exposure to the wretched stuff causes brain damage. Avoid. Stick to acid and opium
J. Meades, The plagiarist in the kitchen (2017), 71
IN the years since, there have been endless request to license the song [Tubthumping]. Almost always, the band say no. On specific occasions, they do make exceptions. One year, the US car company Chrysler offered them £100,000 to use the track on a TV ad. The band knew there'd been a long-running dispute at Chrysler's Detroit plant, it's workers striking for better wages, improved conditions. They agree to license the song, then donated all the money - very publicly - to its striking workforce. 'Chrysler were infuriated,' Whalley notes.
N. Duerden, Exit stage left: the curious afterlife of popstars (2022), 262-3
In Liverpool, Brian Nash [from Frankie Goes to Hollywood] - Nasher - is a very good funeral celebrant.
'I tell you, doing funerals is better than doing an acoustic gig any day,' he says, 'because at least every cunt shuts up while you're talking, and there's no on standing at the bar with beer bottles chatting shit cos they're full of coke.'
N. Duerden, Exit stage left: the curious afterlife of popstars (2022), 112
In 1993, Billy Joel released his last album, River of Dreams, and aside from one further album of classical piano pieces, has felt no compulsion to write anything else. He still enjoys playing his catalogue live, he's sold hundreds of millions of records, and he's proved his worth. What else is there to say?
'I know some artists struggle with the idea of being relevant, [but] I stopped buying that a long time ago,' Joel told Billboard magazine in 2019.
N. Duerden, Exit stage left: the curious afterlife of popstars (2022), 14
