Embarrass his Holiness by associating with any Methodists in Rome

The Vatican advised that Pope Pius X would grant him an audience on the fifth of April, providing that he did not embarrass his Holiness by associating with any Methodists in Rome

E. Morris, Colonel Roosevelt (2010), 35

Preferably diamond trinkets

“Trinkets,” Alice said, when asked if she was still short of anything. “Preferably diamond trinkets.”

E. Morris, Theodore Rex (2001), 436

This is bullier!

[At Yosemite, in 1903] For the next forty-eight hours, the boy in Roosevelt, never quite supressed, reveled in his wild surroundings. “This is bully!” he yelled, when Muir burned a dead tree for him and the sparks hurtled skyward. After another night our, he awoke at Glacier Point, and was intrigued to find himself buried under four inches of snow. “This is bullier!” 

E. Morris, Theodore Rex (2001), 238

The president usually had an open book on his desk, and was quite capable of snatching it up when conversation flagged

Petitioners visiting the Executive Office learned to keep talking, because the president usually had an open book on his desk, and was quite capable of snatching it up when conversation flagged.

E. Morris, Theodore Rex (2001), 108

Few, if any Americans could match the breadth of his intellect and the strength of his character

Yet there was no doubt that Theodore Roosevelt was peculiarly qualified to be President of all the people. Few, if any Americans could match the breadth of his intellect and the strength of his character. A random survey of his achievements might show him mastering German, French and the contrasted dialects of Harvard and Dakota Territory; assembling fossil skeletons with paleontological skill; fighting for an amateur boxing championship; transcribing birdsong into a private system of phonetics; chasing boat thieves with a star on his breast and Tolstoy in his pocket; founding a finance club, a stockman’s association, and hunting-conservation society; reading some twenty thousand books and writing fifteen of his own; climbing the Matterhorn; promulgating a flying machine; and becoming a world authority on North American game mammals. Any Roosevelt watcher could make up a different but equally varied list.

E. Morris, Theodore Rex (2001), 11

If it had been I who had been shot, he wouldn’t have got away so easily … I’d have guzzled him first

Sincere, if slight, grief for McKinley – a cold-blooded politician he had never much cared for – struggled in Roosevelt’s breast with more violent emotions regarding the assassin, Leon Czolgosz. In his opinion, those bullets had been fired, not merely at a man, but at the very heart of the American Republic. They were an assault upon representative government and civilized order. Unable to contain his rage, he leaned forward and blurted a excoriation of Czolgosz in to the rain. “If it had been I who had been shot, he wouldn’t have got away so easily … I’d have guzzled him first.”

E. Morris, Theodore Rex (2001), 4

Unwilling to disturb his sleeping family, he had no choice but to break into his new home

On the icy midnight of Sunday, 1 January 1899, the silence brooding over Eagle Street, Albany, was disturbed by the sound of smashing glass. Theodore Roosevelt, Governor, had stayed out late after dinner (talking too much, as usual), with the result that forgetful servants had locked him out of the Executive Mansion. Unwilling to disturb his sleeping family, he had no choice but to break into his new home.

E. Morris, The rise of Theodore Roosevelt (1979), 723

Happiest when he conquers, but quite happy if he only fights

Teddy is consumed with energy as long as he is doing something and fighting somebody … he always finds something to do and somebody to fight. Poor Cabot must be successful; while Teddy is happiest when he conquers, but quite happy if he only fights.

Cecil Spring Rice, cited in E. Morris, The rise of Theodore Roosevelt (1979), 486 

The only personality whose lusty presence stamps every page is that of Theodore Roosevelt

Today the book [Roosevelt’s biography of Benton] is dismissed as historical hackwork. This reputation is not fair. Benton may be unread, but it is not unreadable. Certainly there are long stretches of of rather dogged narrative, such as the chapters devoted to the politics of nullification and the redistribution of federal surplus funds. One can read the book from cover to cover without finding our what its subject looked like. Secondary characters, such as Andrew Jackson and Daniel Webster, are merely referred to, like names in an encyclopedia. The only personality whose lusty presence stamps every page is that of Theodore Roosevelt. Herein lies the book’s main appeal, but its scholarship is so dated to be spurious now. 

E. Morris, The rise of Theodore Roosevelt (1979), 329

Puzzled by a shopkeeper’s refusal to sell him, on sight, a full pound of arsenic

[at 14, Roosevelt was] puzzled by a shopkeeper’s refusal to sell him, on sight, a full pound of arsenic. “I was informed that I must bring a witness to prove that I was not going to commit murder, suicide or any such dreadful thing, before I could have it!”

E. Morris, The rise of Theodore Roosevelt (1979), 37

He no sooner thinks than he talks

I am told that he no sooner thinks than he talks, which is a miracle not wholly in accord with an educational theory of forming an opinion.

Woodrow Wilson, cited in E. Morris, Colonel Roosevelt (2010), 349

Mark Twain is not alone in thinking the President insane.

Mark Twain is not alone in thinking the President insane. Tales of Roosevelt’s unpredictable behavior are legion , though there is usually an explanation. Once, for instance, he hailed a hansom cab in Pennsylvania Avenue, seized the horse, and mimed a knife attack upon it. On another occasion he startled the occupants of a trolley-car by making hideous faces at them from the Presidential carriage. It transpires that in the former case he was demonstrating the correct way to stab a wolf; in the latter he was merely returning the grimaces of some small boys, one of whom was [his son] the ubiquitous Quentin

E. Morris, The rise of Theodore Roosevelt (1979), xxii

Tonight Lucullus dines with Lucullus

When dining alone, we should all be a bit more like Lucullus. Lucullus was an ancient Roman general known for his extravagant hospitality. One night, his chef presented Lucullus with a small and inexpensive dinner, because he was not expecting any guests. The general exploded with rage. ‘What? Does thou not know that tonight Lucullus dines with Lucullus?

B. Wilson, The secret of cooking (2023), 325

Can I bear to wash it up?

Go through every item in your kitchen and ask yourself six question

1. Do I find it beautiful?
2. Is it useful?
3. Do I like the way it makes me feel when I use it?
4. Can I bear to wash it up?
5. Does it do anything I can’t do better with a knife and my bare hands?
6. Do I have room for it?

Anything that gets all or mostly ‘Nos’ needs to go. Yes. Even if it was given to you as a wedding present.

B. Wilson, The secret of cooking (2023), 122

What does ‘from scratch’ really mean, anyway?

What does ‘from scratch’ really mean, anyway? It is all relative. We do not tell ourselves we are cheating when we buy packs of ready churned butter and bags of ready-ground sugar and flour, even though to cooks of earlier generation these would have seemed unimaginable luxuries. If a Victorian cooks wished to make a dish involving sugar, he or she would first have to chisel off a lump of hard sugar from a larger loaf and then grind this into a powder before finally pushing it through a series of sieves until it was fine enough to use

B. Wilson, The secret of cooking (2023), 13

She would have enjoyed cooking, if only it weren’t for her children

I got chatting to a woman who said she would have enjoyed cooking, if only it weren’t for her children. They were picky about eating lots of things, including onions, and this put her off trying new recipes because ‘what recipe doesn’t start with an onion?’

B. Wilson, The secret of cooking (2023), 4

Leave thy preaching, for it is not worth a fart

Dissent could come into church itself. Michael Maunford of St Botolph without Aldgate, London, in 1497 shouted ‘Leave thy preaching, for it is not worth a fart’, after which he was hauled before a Church court.

N. Orme, Going to church in medieval England (2021), 252

Thomas Lipton gave his potential customers a circus elephant parading a massive block of Cheddar through the streets

Modern British towns might start Christmas with a vaguely heard of ex-celebrity switching on the civic light display. Thomas Lipton gave his potential customers a circus elephant parading a massive block of Cheddar through the streets. The promotion of cheese as a Christmas food has continued ever since. Sadly cheese parades are no longer part of it

A. Gray, At Christmas we feast (2022), 93

Mince Pies were Reliques of the Whore of Babylon

Plumb-pottage was mere Popery, that a Collar of Brawn was an abomination, that Roast Beef was Antichristian, that Mince Pies were Reliques of the Whore of Babylon, and a Goose, a Turkey, or a Capon, were marks of the Beast

John Taylor (1652) on Puritans. Cited in A. Gray, At Christmas we feast (2022), 56