I don’t give a shit about the blood. It’s the goddamn paperwork

“Goddamnit, I hate murder more than just about anything,” said Sheriff Red Jetty. “It can just ruin a day.” “Because it’s such a waste of life?” the coroner, Reverend Cad Fondle, asked. He had just pronounced Junior Junior and the unidentified Black man dead without so much as touching them. “No, it’s because it’s a mess.” “It is a lot of blood,” Fondle said. “I don’t give a shit about the blood. It’s the goddamn paperwork.” Jetty pointed at the floor. “What you gonna do about Milam’s balls there?”

P. Everett, The Trees (2022), loc.211

How long, really, does a God need to watch shit burn before he intervenes?

Don’t tell me God is watching. Cos all my wretched life he’s been watching; how long, really, does a God need to watch shit burn before he intervenes?

N. Bulawayo, Glory (2022), loc 4,056

Military custom regarding nurses is most irrational

Military custom regarding nurses is most irrational. They are made officers and therefore not permitted to associate with enlisted men. This means that they must find their social life among other officers. But most male officers are married, especially in the medical corps. And most unmarried officers are from social levels into which nurses from small towns do not normally marry. As a result of this involved social system, military nurses frequently have unhappy emotional experiences. Cut off by law from fraternizing with those men who would like to marry them and who would have married them in civilian life, they find their friendships restricted to men who are surprisingly often married or who are social snobs.

J.A. Michener, Tales of the South Pacific (1947), loc. 793

Soon as girls arrive exam results go down. Passion leads to a Lower Second

‘I don’t accept presents,’ said Sir, looking briefly at Three Men in a Boat. ‘This is a clean school. No nonsense. But yes, I’ll have this one. Send your sons here when you’ve got some. Present us with a silver cup for something when you’re a filthy rich lawyer, I dare say? Yes. You’ll be a lawyer. Magnificent memory. Sense of logic, no imagination and no brains. My favourite chap, Teddy Feathers, as a matter of fact. I dare say.’ ‘Thank you, Sir. I’ll always keep in touch.’ ‘Don’t go near Wales. And keep off girls for a while. Soon as girls arrive exam results go down. Passion leads to a Lower Second. Goodbye, old Feathers. On with the dance.’

J. Gardam, Old Filth (2004), loc. 1,061

Hitler’s invaded Poland. Don’t tell your father yet, Pat

‘Oh – tea,’ said Mrs Ingoldby. ‘You’re just in time. I’ll get them to make you some more of the little tongue sandwiches. Did you have a good walk?’ ‘Wonderful, thanks. Any news?’ ‘Yes. Hitler’s invaded Poland. Don’t tell your father yet, Pat. He can do nothing about it and there’s his favourite supper. Oxtail stew.’

J. Gardam, Old Filth (2004), loc. 913

When I sit down to write a novel I do not at all know, and I do not much care, how it is to end.

This is a long way from saying plausibly that Trollope is to any extent a crime novelist. He did write at least one murder mystery, Phineas Redux, although it's only a murder mystery for the extent of 24 pages in my edition before Trollope the narrator reveals the identity of the killer. "The maintenance of any doubt on that matter, - were it even desirable to maintain a doubt, - would be altogether beyond the power of the present writer," says Trollope, and you can't help feeling he's silently adding "and beneath my dignity".

...

Trollope couldn't abide this sort of thing [detailing clueing in detective novels], as he made clear elsewhere in his Autobiography. 

... When I sit down to write a novel I do not at all know, and I do not much care, how it is to end. Wilkie Collins seems so to construct his that he not only, before writing, plans everything on, down to the minutest detail, from the beginning to the end; but then plots it all back again, to see that there is no piece of necessary dove-tailing that does not dove-tail with absolute accuracy. The construction is most minute and most wonderful. But I can never lose the taste of the construction.

J. Kerridge, ' "Fifteen yards beyond the fourth milestone." Anthony Trollope: crime writer', Trollopiana 130 (2025), 5-6

Wherever men are found, strong liquors are met with, and are used in festivities

Wine, the most pleasant of all drinks, whether due to Noah who planted the vine, or to Bacchus who expressed the juice of the grape, dates back to the infancy of the world. Beer, which is attributed to Osiris, dates to an age far beyond history. All men, even those we call savages, have been so tormented by the passion for strong drinks, that limited as their capacities were, they were yet able to manufacture them. They made the milk of their domestic animals sour: they extracted the juice of many animals and many fruits in which they suspected the idea of fermentation to exist. Wherever men are found, strong liquors are met with, and are used in festivities, sacrifices, marriages, funeral rites, and on all solemn occasions. 

J. Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste (1825), 80

A dessert without cheese is like a beautiful woman who has lost an eye

I'm doing all of Brillat-Savarin's aphorisms together:

• A dessert without cheese is like a beautiful woman who has lost an eye. (p.22)
• Gastronomy rules all life, for the tears of the infant cry for the bosom of the nurse; the dying man receives with some degree of pleasure the last cooling drink, which, alas! he is unable to digest. (36)
• Which one of us, condemned to the fare of the fathers of the desert, would not have smiled at the idea of a well-carved chicken's wing, announcing his rapid rendition to civilized life? (49)
• Give the most hungry man you can meet with the richest possible food, he will eat with difficulty. Give him a glass of wine or of brandy, and at once he will find himself better. (79)
• I observe with pride, that gourmandise and coquettery, the two great modifications which society has effected in our imperious wants, are both of French origin. (87)
• Thousands of men, who, forty years ago would have passed their evenings in cabarets, now pass them at the theatres. Economy, certainly does not gain by this, but morality does. (138)
• Monsieur, said an old marquise to me one day, which do you like best, Burgundy or Bordeaux? Madame, said I, I have such a passion for examining into the matter, that I always postpone the decision a week. (166)
• Take a raisin-- No I thank you; I do not like wine in pills.(167)

J. Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste (1825)

Every sixth Jew who died in the Holocaust—altogether close to a million people—came from Ukraine

Every sixth Jew who died in the Holocaust—altogether close to a million people—came from Ukraine. By far the best-known massacre, with the greatest number of victims, took place in Babi Yar (in Ukrainian, Babyn Yar, or Old Woman’s Ravine) on the outskirts of Kyiv. There, in the course of two days, the automatic fire of Sonderkommando 4a of Einsatzgruppe C, assisted by the German and local police, killed 33,761 Jewish citizens of Kyiv.

S. Plokhy, Gates of Europe (2025), loc. 4,608

None of the groups got what it wanted

The Catholic rebels wanted a Catholic state without Russian interference, while the Orthodox wanted a Cossack state under the jurisdiction of Russia. The Jews wanted to be left alone. None of the groups got what it wanted.

S. Plokhy, Gates of Europe (2025), loc. 2,423, describing the Eighteenth century in Ukraine and the partition of Poland.

Nothing in this kingdom counts so much as how your forefathers behaved on the field at Bosworth

‘I tell you what it is, the loyalty of the Howards.’ Henry limps; he puts out a hand to steady himself against the Lord Privy Seal. ‘John Howard, who was grandfather to the Norfolk that is now, was known to declare that if a stock of wood or a standing stone were King of England, he would defend its title – if it were named so by Parliament.’ ‘It shows a high regard for the standing of Parliament,’ Richard Riche murmurs. ‘But he fought against my father!’ The king turns on Riche. ‘Do you not comprehend that, you dolt? He took Richard Plantagenet for king.’ Riche draws back into himself so far that he seems to be trying to retract into his ribs, like a man squeezed by Skeffington’s Daughter. He begins his apologies, but he – Lord Cromwell – cuts him off. Young men, and Riche is young enough, do not understand that to this very day, nothing in this kingdom counts so much as how your forefathers behaved on the field at Bosworth. 

H. Mantel, The mirror and the light (2020), loc. 5,650

The cardinal, in his days as master of the realm, had spoken of God as if He were a distant policy adviser from whom he heard quarterly

The cardinal, in his days as master of the realm, had spoken of God as if He were a distant policy adviser from whom he heard quarterly: gnomic in his pronouncements, sometimes forgetful, but worth a retainer on account of his experience. At times he sent Him special requests, which the less well-connected call prayers; and always, until the last months of his life, God fell over Himself to make sure Tom Wolsey had what he wanted. But then he prayed, Make me humble; God said, Sir, your request comes too late. His

H. Mantel, The mirror and the light (2020), loc.4,276

But back then we hid, we didn’t even wear our medals. Men wore them, but not women

When I put on a dress for the first time, I flooded myself with tears. I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. We had spent four years in trousers. There was no one I could tell that I had been wounded, that I had a concussion. Try telling it, and who will give you a job then, who will marry you? We were silent as fish. We never acknowledged to anybody that we had been at the front. We just kept in touch among ourselves, wrote letters. It was later that they began to honor us, thirty years later … to invite us to meetings … But back then we hid, we didn’t even wear our medals. Men wore them, but not women. Men were victors, heroes, wooers, the war was theirs, but we were looked at with quite different eyes. Quite different … I’ll tell you, they robbed us of the victory.

S. Alexievich, tr. R. Pevear and L. Volkhonsky, The unwomanly face of war (1985), Kindle loc 2,123

But it’s your inner ear, not your ass, that’s the problem. And your inner ear is a liar

You have to fly by the seat of your pants, they say. Meaning: A real pilot feels the plane’s every movement in his ass. But it’s your inner ear, not your ass, that’s the problem. And your inner ear is a liar. A man, blindfolded and spun slowly in a rotating chair, will think when the chair slows that it has stopped. When it has stopped, he will think it has begun to spin the other way. The mistake happens deep in his ear, among the tiny hair cells and drifting fluid inside the semicircular canals of the bony labyrinth. These are the minute, impossibly fragile internal instruments that detect the yaw, pitch, and roll of the human head—wondrous little gizmos to be sure but poorly evolved for flight.

M. Shipstead, Great Circle (2021), loc. 3,084

Conan is the barbarian hero to end all barbarian heroes; his later imitations seem pallid by comparison

Conan is the barbarian hero to end all barbarian heroes; his later imitations seem pallid by comparison. In “A Witch Shall Be Born,” Conan is captured and crucified. As he hangs on the cross, a vulture flies down to peck his eyes out. Conan bites the vulture’s head off. You just can’t have a hero tougher than that.

L. Sprague deCamp, Literary Swordsmen and Sorcerers (1976), loc. 2,896

For one thing, Morris was not strong on plot. His adventures and encounters “just happen.”

At 65,000 words, this novel is shorter than most of Morris’s fantasies, which is all to the good. It starts off well but tends to peter out. For one thing, Morris was not strong on plot. His adventures and encounters “just happen.” Morris could no doubt have defended himself by saying that he was writing, not a “modern” novel, but a medieval romance of the type of those of Chrestien de Troyes, Gottfried von Strassburg, Lodovico Ariosto, and Sir Thomas Malory. They never worried about intricate, logical, self-consistent plots either.

L. Sprague deCamp, Literary Swordsmen and Sorcerers (1976), loc. 925

They were not about to sit down and master the techniques of dry farming when murder and robbery were so much more fu

A reason for the ferocity of Howard’s barbarians is that the barbarians he knew the most about, the Comanche Indians of Texas, were one of the most warlike peoples on earth. Having just been promoted from food-gathering savagery by acquiring horses, they were not about to sit down and master the techniques of dry farming when murder and robbery were so much more fun.

L. Sprague deCamp, Literary Swordsmen and Sorcerers (1976), loc. 672

Those who fancy that they would relish life in a bygone era assume that they would arrive in the earlier milieu with all the health, wealth, and social status needed to enjoy their visit

Needless to say, those who fancy that they would relish life in a bygone era assume that they would arrive in the earlier milieu with all the health, wealth, and social status needed to enjoy their visit. Nobody would wish to find himself an Irish peasant during the Famine of the 1840s, or a medieval serf, or a slave in the Athenian silver mines at Laureion. Actually, if one were translated to the body of such a dweller in former times, chosen at random, one would be hundreds of times more likely to find oneself a downtrodden proletarian than a baron or an Athenian eupatrid, because the affluent in those days were such a tiny fraction of the whole. For that matter, such a translation would drastically cut one’s life expectancy, because there were so many illnesses and injuries that in those days were fatal.

L. Sprague deCamp, Literary Swordsmen and Sorcerers (1976), loc. 485

House numbers exist not to help you find your way, but rather to help the government find you

"The great enterprise of numbering the houses,” Tantner writes, “is characteristic of the eighteenth century. Without any trace of irony, the house number can be considered one of the most important innovations of the Age of Enlightenment, of that century obsessed, as it was, with order and classification.” House numbers were not invented to help you navigate the city or receive your mail, though they perform these two functions admirably. Instead, they were designed to make you easier to tax, imprison, and police. House numbers exist not to help you find your way, but rather to help the government find you.

D. Mask, The address book (2020), 91

Addresses were helping to empower the people who lived there by helping them to feel a part of society

And inclusion is one of the secret weapons of street addresses. Employees at the World Bank soon found that addresses were helping to empower the people who lived there by helping them to feel a part of society. This is particularly true in slum areas. “A citizen is not an anonymous entity lost in the urban jungle and known only by his relatives and co-workers; he has an established identity,” a group of experts wrote in a book on street addressing. Citizens should have a way to “reach and be reached by associations and government agencies,” and to be reached by fellow citizens, even ones they didn’t know before. In other words, without an address, you are limited to communicating only with people who know you. And it’s often people who don’t know you who can most help you.

D. Mask, The address book (2020), 30

It is so tightly packed, so indistinguishable, so angular, that it makes your brain have a fight with your eyes

No one reads full Gothic script for a visual treat. It is so tightly packed, so indistinguishable, so angular, that it makes your brain have a fight with your eyes. It might look neatly ordered and crisp from a distance, bur once you start trying to read the actual words, it stops being pleasant… Scribes were well aware of how ridiculous this tightly compressed Gothic text looked, and they had a mock sentence that was mainly composed of the letters m, n, u and i [where the letters all run into each other so it is impossible to tell which is which]

S. Charles, The medieval scriptorium (2024), 281,283

May they be rotated on the breaking wheel and hanged. Amen

A book of the abbey of SS Mary and Nicholas of Arnstein. If anyone steals it: may they die the death, may they be roasted in a frying pan, may the falling sickness and fever attack them, and may they be rotated on the breaking wheel and hanged. Amen

Warning in a German bible, cited in S. Charles, The medieval scriptorium (2024), 151

Language is the ordinary medium of daily communication – unlike music or paint

Prose is always simple in this sense, because language is the ordinary medium of daily communication – unlike music or paint. Our ordinary possessions are being borrowed by even very difficult writers: the millionaires of style – difficult lavish stylists like Sir Thomas Browne, Melville, Ruskin, Lawrence, James, Woolf – are very prosperous, but they use the same banknotes as everyone else

J. Wood, How fiction works (10th Anniversary edition. 2019), 157-8

They have not read enough literature to be taught by it how to read it

You only have to teach literature to realise that most young readers are poor noticers. I know from my own old books, wantonly annotated twenty years ago when I was a student, that I routinely underlined for approval details and images and metaphors that strike me now as commonplace, while serenely missing things which now seem wonderful. We grow as readers, and twenty-year-olds are relative virgins. They have not read enough literature to be taught by it how to read it.

J. Wood, How fiction works (10th Anniversary edition. 2019), 62